Nervous Nonsense

"I bite my nails because I'm nervous."
"Nervous? Why on earth should you be nervous?"
"Because YOU make me that way."
"Me? How on earth do I make you nervous?"
"Oh, by the way you're always asking me questions."
"Questions? What sort of questions?"
"I don't know. Just questions."
"Well, they must be certain types of questions to make you bite your nails."
"Oh I guess so."
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"What sort of questions?"
"The type I don't know how to answer."
"What sort are they?"
"Oh I don't know."
"Come on. You MUST know."
"Why must I?"
"Because they're the type that makes you bite your nails."
"Are they?"
"Yes of course they are!!!"
"How on earth do you know?"
"Good grief!!"
"What do you mean Good Grief?"
"Oh I don't know."
"Come on! You MUST know!"
"Must I?"
"Yes of course you must!"
"What must I know?"
"Why YOU tell ME that I'm biting MY nails when YOU'RE biting YOURS!"
"Oh."
"Well com on. Why ARE you biting your nails?"
"Because I'm nervous......."

I can hear Mum's voice while I'm reading this. I like this because it reminds me of Mum's sense of humour. I was (am) a nail biter. Maybe this is a play on a conversation we had when I was a teenager. It reeks of talking to a teenager. Its also a bit like posting hilarious interactions with children on Facebook. Enjoy.

Storm

The sea was blue,
The sky was blue,
The waves came rolling in.
A lonely surfer rode his board,
The gulls were screeching heavenward,
A deaf'ning raucous din.

The sea was grey,
The sky was grey,
The waves came pounding on.
No sign of man, nor bird nor beast
The screeching gulls now ceased
And e,en the surfer gone.

And blinding spears of fire
Were shot across the sky,
The sea became a raging thing,
The wind a wailing sigh.
The rain began to slash
Against the rocky shore,
The thunder crashed, the lightning flashed,
The surf began to roar.

The sea was blue,
The sky was blue,
The clouds no more were rent.
A gentle breeze began to blow,
The sun came out at last, to show
That now the storm was spent.

A happier poem this week. Again, Mum shows here affinity with nature in this poem. It was written  before 1975 because she has signed it "Cathryn Mahoney".

Away from Love (c1988)

Grip me in your iron hand

And fling me to the Sun

Remember all the other Lives

That have only just begun.

Oh Love, do not destroy me

Or leave my Heart to Hate

May all the world be beautiful

And in a perfect state.

And all my myriad particles

Float upward to the Sun

And though each one is separate

Myself is with each one.

Yes Love, my mind is shattered

But now I can be strong

For more of me can reach you now

Oh Love do not take long

To nurture me and make me whole.

To fill me with new Life.

To Love again, to welcome rain

To hear the Faery fife.

Bring back that inner sanctuary,

Bring back that inner calm,

Piece back my broken Spirit

With Oil of Life embalm.

I found this poem in a box of "precious things" that Mum kept. I'm not sure when it was written but if I had to guess, it was in Mildura, probably just after her miscarriage (1988). I think this because a letter from the Sheltons was with the poem, expressing their regret over the miscarriage.

I think this poem speaks volumes in ways that Mum would not have even considered. It is almost prophetic considering the immense tragedy that my immediate and extended family have experienced since this time. I read so much grief into the stanzas that I can relate to on so many different levels. 

How does this poem speak to you?